Keep It Simple

Friday, September 18, 2009

I am yet again running after wrong things in life...wrong people...wrong expectations.

when did all dis start? It was all fine..I learnt not to expect too much from anyone during graduation

Then I came here...made some awesome set of friends...got really carried away...

I made dose friends my life...gave them more importance than myself...

well....it was all fine till the day I got into shit and needed them..I looked back and no one was there..

where did i go wrong??I always did the right thing...I always had the good intentions..

but may right thing wasnt that right after all..

why do i still expect them to change?why am i still running for support...?when will i really learn?

when will i really grow up???

posted by S.T. @ 8:19 PM 4 comments

Friday, May 22, 2009

"Heyy!!"
"ahem...heyy...so why did u call?"
"huh?...cant i call u ..?btw i jus called to tell u that I am leaving now.."
"oh...right..okay..."
"umm...u have nothing else to say?"
"no..why...u want to leave , u can leave...i am no one to stop you rfom doing anything.."
"yeah right...u r no one...chal take care den..bye"
"yeah bye"
*heart break*
why is it so difficult to move on?even when you know you are holding on to nothing. even when you know it is going to take you no where...even when you know there is no other alternative then moving on..life is tough...

posted by S.T. @ 10:21 PM 4 comments

Sunday, March 22, 2009

time to change

Life is soon going to change. I am at the crossroads again..new place ..new people..new experience..

But I am still not able to get over my previous experience. I ruined evrything that was nice in my life..and also ruined the time I have always waited for..

I need just one chance to correct it all...I am not quite sure how I will do it , but I wanna do it.. Tomm results going to be out and life is going to go either ways...for good or worse...I am not sure ..but it is surely going to change a lot of things..

But I am not sure what exactly to learn from my past exp..was it wrong to have good intentions for evone?was it wrong to be frens with people who were nice to u?was it wrong to trust people?was it wrong to expect world ard me to be nice?was it wrong to expect ur own frens to be nice?
so should i be mean nice and always suspicious?should i be a loner?should i jus stop expectin nice ppl in my life?

I am not sure..I dunt know what I am goin to change about myself in my new life, but I gotta do smthing..Honestly speakin , I love being the way I am ..I love being naive...I love to feel pure hearts around me...I really dunt wanna change :-( but I will have to chnage...I cant let people hurt me again..

This is not wat I expected life to be like wen I grow up...:-(

posted by S.T. @ 9:36 AM 2 comments

Thursday, March 12, 2009

"Did it mean anything to you?"
"Yes..It did..I like you, but I am not sure. I find you cute. But I like her as well. I am confused. You are my best friend and even she is such a good friend. I cant ditch her. I am not sure what to do."
"Listen ...lets just forget it. You dont love me. And thats all I care about. But you should have thought at least once before kissing me. It was my first kiss. It meant so much to me..Anyway, We will still be friends. I love you a lot and I am not going to spoil our friendship cuz you did something stupid."
"Hey ..stop..I am sorry..I know I was stupid..............hey dunt go.."
...
....
......
"You fine na...?"
"of course..i am fine...i am over all that...dunt worry.."
..
...
....
"I am not fine. I hate this..I hate the fact that I kissed when I dunt even love you. I hate the fact that you dunt love me. I hate the fact that my first kiss was not any love story .. I hate the fact that you like someone else. I hate the fact that my parenst trust me so much. I hate the fact that its going to kill them. I hate the fact that I dunt feel pure anymore...I hate myself..."

posted by S.T. @ 11:24 AM 2 comments

Thursday, January 1, 2009

I wish

Last year was very eventful.I met you.. I went to a new place and I met you. There was nothing special about you.. You were just a plain looking guy. But your eyes said something to me.I swear I felt it. I swear I stopped breathing evtime I saw you. I was so sure about you that I told evone abt u. I was so sure about you that I took you as my destiny. Though I hated evtime you ignored me .. I hated evtime I saw you wid smone else. I hated the fact that you dint love me the way I do. But I was so sure that you are the one that I ignored evthing. I knew I m in love. I loved you . I swear I did. I am not sure why. I am not sure how. I just know evtime I saw you , I felt this connection. I nvr cared about your short height , bald spots , arrogant attitude , stupid logic and unreasonable obsession wid urself. I knew it doesnt matter. I knew I dunt care. I knew I loved you. I never felt this way for anyone. And may be thats why I dint know wat to do. May be I screwed up big time. may be I did manage to pisss you off. But I was so obsessed with the fact that I am in love with you , I never thought abt it. But now I know you dunt love me. I know you nvr felt the way I did. I know you never looked at me the way I did. But why is it still so hard for me to accept that . I know I have to move on. I know we are nt meant for each other .

Mya be it was all in my head. May be it was a dream . May be it wasnt love. May be I hav lost myself. May be you werent the one.

Whatever it was, I know you will always be special to me. I wish I could say this to you. I wish I could tell you what you mean to me. I wish you were my destiny.

So here I kiss you good bye. My sweet love ...Its all over now. It was a dream and its over now.

I wish I find myself soon...

posted by S.T. @ 1:14 PM 4 comments

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Quick Update

I am leaving for Calcutta day after tomm..Super Busy..
It is all so hard for me.It is so hard to leave mom dad behind..I cant even get emotional in front of them.I have to pretend I am all happy and excited about going but I am not. Suddenly , I have a strong urge to just stay back at home. You know this weird fear of facing the unknown and the strong temptation to stay in ur comfort zone. But I know I will have to move on...No other choice now..I seriously pray that I be able to survive in that new atmosphere away from family and friends.
I will soon post about my new life :-)
People , wish me luck!!!!

posted by S.T. @ 12:26 PM 8 comments

Thursday, June 12, 2008

I feel disgusted....DISGUSTED!!.....

This is such a big torture...I am so happy I am leaving at this point of time.

Why am I the one who is always being tortured by some psycho??!!!

Why is it my fault if someone is a psycho?

Why is it my fault if some guy doesnt have a life??

Why do I have to prove it to people that I have nothin to do with that psycho??

Why is it always a gurl's fault??

Why cant they just leave me alone???

I AM NOT THAT BAD ... THEN WHY ALL BAD PEOPLE ARE AFTER MY LIFE??

posted by S.T. @ 2:59 AM 8 comments

About Me

Name: S.T.
Home: delhi, India
About Me: I am a yet another "MBA" student.But that is not important.This blog traces the journey of a gurl in early 20s . Someone who always tried to keep everything simple and sweet in her life. But she dreams big and that is where life takes a complex turn.Will she be able to retain this simplicity or will she be lost in this complex world?
See my complete profile